Written on the night of my birthday: June 24th, 2012.
Life has bigger plans for all of us. You don't have to believe in this yourself but then events, people and situations might convince you to believe so.
Loss is irreplaceable. That is the beauty of loss. Yet, we all are stagnant in it. But we shouldn't, we should be changing not being stuck on our losses. Loss is tied closely to pain and that is something we cannot avoid. My advice on dealing with loss is to avoid the pain and ignore it by keeping yourself busy with other thoughts. To not think about it at all. It is then, through cracks in the compartmentalization process that the really important parts seep out. The part that makes you grow and not the one that makes you want to cry. I have no idea if this is the best way to go about it. It is not that everyone displays their personal results while going through loss. But, this being the way that i have seen people dealing with it has almost always worked. Perhaps the magnitude of the loss also matters. Perhaps if one encounter a loss so great that nothing can be done about it, one can not keep it at the back of his mind, and then the best way to deal with it would be head on. But what if in this head on collision, one gets scarred permanently ? It is something that we should think about. We should hope that we don't have to bear a loss that is too great.
Greatness is not an easy path, it is not a path that is well known. The reason for its unknown nature is that all of us focus on the results. All great men emphasize about the work that goes into it, but we do not see that part. We are dazzled by the glamour. We should remember that the part that is not spoken often enough is the one that is most important. A couple on page in a autobiography, one minute or two in a biopic movie ... That is that part that doesn't look glorious. No one would want to hear about it. We just want to look at the results and be in awe of it.
Now, faced by difficulty, we do not know what to do. Faced by loss, we do not know what to do. We should hope that there is a path, there is a part of the puzzle, there is a past we can relate to in our future. All I want to say that, its okay if we don't have friends, if we don't have a very happening social life, because if you reach success, it will not matter. No one will ask how this phase was and you can ignore it and live in the present of that time. And the number of friends that prop up once you are successful is amazing. It will never make you feel lonely after.
I remember, reading in my history book, that Napoleon was made fun of quite a bit and he nearly cried in the library because they did not believe he could make it. Napoleon was apparently too short. Yet, he was one of the most influential men in history. To come from a point where everyone makes fun of you, to a point where everyone respects you is a journey that he probably went through friendless or at best with one or two close companions. Yet, we will not see that or think about it when we are faced with difficulties. None of us are exceptions to the rule, we are the rule. We cry at adversity when i should realize that it is a challenge to equate ourselves with great men and women who have been faced with profound sadness in their lives. Indeed, looking at it from this point of view, we should be happy that we have some loss or some reason to be sad. It gives us the opportunity to rise back and prove our worth. Not only to prove to everyone else who has been cynical of our talents but more importantly, to our own minds, for doubts often clouds our minds about our capabilities.
Lastly, I just wanted to say that the passion for success or the passion to become great comes from probably 3 sources (there might be more).
1. Is the passion in itself - when you love something a lot, you are already motivated to work towards it and you do not need a push as such.
2. Is at the face of some misfortune - It is strange that most people who are faced with significant amount of misfortune are the ones that are successful. I think there is something about being in a almost hopeless situation, makes your brain focused. and makes you take "all or nothing" risks because you have nothing much to lose in the first place. I think that is important because that helps one along the steepest curves in the path to achievement.
3. In the face of enmity - there are several occasions when people will come to you and say that you will not make it. At that time, you would want nothing more than to achieve something and scream at their faces. That sometimes drives us to achieving something. It might even feel nice to flaunt your achievement for once in front of them. Yes, this might be considered cheap or insignificant way of doing things. But there will always be people who question your motives and reasons - no matte what you do. A prime example of this rule is Chanakya whose main reason to rise to success and install his disciple as the king was the enmity that he had with the previous king.
There are three more things that are equally important. I think that they are interrelated to each other, but I would try and state in different ways.
1. Peace - one must try and find peace in everything that he does, it might be the most annoying thing in this earth, but still it is important to you. Taking a deep breathe and try relaxing. It will get us through even the worst of situations.
2. Compassion - we must put other people in front of us. It is important when to do it though. You shouldn't do it when you are making important decisions about life. Do it in your day to day activities, that exhibits character and is something that you and the other person will cherish. We should cherish it because making someone else happy makes us happy and that in turn is better than being selfish because there is a little voice within each one of us which tells us that we could have done things better. I think it is only fair that we listen to it at times and get things in better order.
Life has bigger plans for all of us. You don't have to believe in this yourself but then events, people and situations might convince you to believe so.
Loss is irreplaceable. That is the beauty of loss. Yet, we all are stagnant in it. But we shouldn't, we should be changing not being stuck on our losses. Loss is tied closely to pain and that is something we cannot avoid. My advice on dealing with loss is to avoid the pain and ignore it by keeping yourself busy with other thoughts. To not think about it at all. It is then, through cracks in the compartmentalization process that the really important parts seep out. The part that makes you grow and not the one that makes you want to cry. I have no idea if this is the best way to go about it. It is not that everyone displays their personal results while going through loss. But, this being the way that i have seen people dealing with it has almost always worked. Perhaps the magnitude of the loss also matters. Perhaps if one encounter a loss so great that nothing can be done about it, one can not keep it at the back of his mind, and then the best way to deal with it would be head on. But what if in this head on collision, one gets scarred permanently ? It is something that we should think about. We should hope that we don't have to bear a loss that is too great.
Greatness is not an easy path, it is not a path that is well known. The reason for its unknown nature is that all of us focus on the results. All great men emphasize about the work that goes into it, but we do not see that part. We are dazzled by the glamour. We should remember that the part that is not spoken often enough is the one that is most important. A couple on page in a autobiography, one minute or two in a biopic movie ... That is that part that doesn't look glorious. No one would want to hear about it. We just want to look at the results and be in awe of it.
Now, faced by difficulty, we do not know what to do. Faced by loss, we do not know what to do. We should hope that there is a path, there is a part of the puzzle, there is a past we can relate to in our future. All I want to say that, its okay if we don't have friends, if we don't have a very happening social life, because if you reach success, it will not matter. No one will ask how this phase was and you can ignore it and live in the present of that time. And the number of friends that prop up once you are successful is amazing. It will never make you feel lonely after.
I remember, reading in my history book, that Napoleon was made fun of quite a bit and he nearly cried in the library because they did not believe he could make it. Napoleon was apparently too short. Yet, he was one of the most influential men in history. To come from a point where everyone makes fun of you, to a point where everyone respects you is a journey that he probably went through friendless or at best with one or two close companions. Yet, we will not see that or think about it when we are faced with difficulties. None of us are exceptions to the rule, we are the rule. We cry at adversity when i should realize that it is a challenge to equate ourselves with great men and women who have been faced with profound sadness in their lives. Indeed, looking at it from this point of view, we should be happy that we have some loss or some reason to be sad. It gives us the opportunity to rise back and prove our worth. Not only to prove to everyone else who has been cynical of our talents but more importantly, to our own minds, for doubts often clouds our minds about our capabilities.
Lastly, I just wanted to say that the passion for success or the passion to become great comes from probably 3 sources (there might be more).
1. Is the passion in itself - when you love something a lot, you are already motivated to work towards it and you do not need a push as such.
2. Is at the face of some misfortune - It is strange that most people who are faced with significant amount of misfortune are the ones that are successful. I think there is something about being in a almost hopeless situation, makes your brain focused. and makes you take "all or nothing" risks because you have nothing much to lose in the first place. I think that is important because that helps one along the steepest curves in the path to achievement.
3. In the face of enmity - there are several occasions when people will come to you and say that you will not make it. At that time, you would want nothing more than to achieve something and scream at their faces. That sometimes drives us to achieving something. It might even feel nice to flaunt your achievement for once in front of them. Yes, this might be considered cheap or insignificant way of doing things. But there will always be people who question your motives and reasons - no matte what you do. A prime example of this rule is Chanakya whose main reason to rise to success and install his disciple as the king was the enmity that he had with the previous king.
There are three more things that are equally important. I think that they are interrelated to each other, but I would try and state in different ways.
1. Peace - one must try and find peace in everything that he does, it might be the most annoying thing in this earth, but still it is important to you. Taking a deep breathe and try relaxing. It will get us through even the worst of situations.
2. Compassion - we must put other people in front of us. It is important when to do it though. You shouldn't do it when you are making important decisions about life. Do it in your day to day activities, that exhibits character and is something that you and the other person will cherish. We should cherish it because making someone else happy makes us happy and that in turn is better than being selfish because there is a little voice within each one of us which tells us that we could have done things better. I think it is only fair that we listen to it at times and get things in better order.
3. Courage - It is one of the most important of human personality traits. Merely having thoughts about godwill or having the desire to do great things is never the only thing required. It takes great amount of courage to overcome that initial inertia. I am talking about that hesitancy that we see when we want to help a stranger in distress. And then we walk away wondering why we did not do it. Courage helps us taking that first step - the first step outside our comfort zone.
Dedicated to Kiran Swami Chandramouli - always alive in my heart. :) <3
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