And S slept.
And he awoke.
He awoke to find a void. A large white landscape with no features at all. It was like he had reached the edge of horizon and now it seemed that it extended forever.
He walked a bit and nothing changed. All was white but not the kind that hurts your eyes. The white that soothes the soul. Yet he panicked for this void had no features. It was plain and peaceful. Pristine and quite and he could not stand it. He opened his mouth to scream. He could not hear his voice. The terror of this place seized him, this he realized, must be hell. There was no devil required. This place brought out the devil in you.
Suddenly, things began to materialize, shapes began to form and he was too astounded and dumbstruck to realize what was happening. The whole landscape was shifting and changing. It was as if the creator made him experience the most ghastly form of horror and then takes it away to bring out something even more surreal. He could not bear it any more. He closed his eyes, and shut his ears. Yet he wondered, there is no sound, why should I shut my ears. The light is not so bright, yet why do I feel like closing my eyes ?
After what seemed like eternity, for this place had no concept of time - No factor by which one could say if a minute had passed or an hour or an year, he opened his eyes and what he saw was a scene of utter amazement. The background was still the same. There was a eternal white luminescence that radiated amibently. But now when he looked up, he was a large dome, white in colour intricately carved. So intricate that one had to squint his eyes to see the microcosm of design. At a passing glance, the dome would look bare and plain white. Staring at it for a second mad him realized that it was made of infinitely grainy designs that were so intricate that it was nothing like he had ever seen. Another horror gripped him, one of beauty that one only gets to see and realize at the end of his life. Surely, this must be a thing carved for the Gods, no mortal could ever make this. More so, no mortal should ever lay his eyes on this.
Yet, the naive S, so engrossed by looking up that he forgot to look down at the plane - and when he did, he saw that he was not alone. Inside the dome were a billion people. All like him except that they did not seem to mind the dome. It was like they were used to the dome and have come to acknowledge its presence. The realization dawned upon him - every single person - born or dead was present inside this dome. The amazement was that even though it had so many people, the place looked quite empty. The white background percolated and he felt that the dome was quite spacious and roomy, even for the entire population that ever was.
He then heard voices in his head. He could not tell if this was him or someone else talking to him. However, the message were clear. He had to go and approach every single person there and talk to them. Only one of those billion people would acknowledge his presence. The one that did so however, was the one with whom he was to be with forever. He was thrilled and frightened. Not knowing what to expect. Yet, the prize was so important to him that he had to try. Whatever effort it took, would seem worth it.
He went from person to person. Not one could hear his voice. Not even one of them could see him. He tried shaking them, touching them but his hands went through their bodies, they became translucent when he passed his hand and yet when he did remove his hand, they seemed as real as his limbs looked to him. They were all mannequins talking to each other in their own language. Their own gestures. Their expressions were weird. They talked to one another but he could not hear them. They talked very less to each other. But they were very expressive. In this strange world to which he was a mere apparition, everyone understood each other perfectly, there was no need to talk one word extra. For everyone conveyed their thoughts with perfect precision. Their expressions were not misunderstood. They had a calm on their face. It was a calm that mocked him. For he was not one of them. They seemed to know that and yet did not make even the slightest of indication to him that they knew.
He moved along trying to talk from person to person. A billion people in all. The numbers did not matter, for he had forever. The mannequins would continue talking to each other. It was a flawless, perceptual system. The kind that God would create on his playground for his amusement. It seemed like he was the centre of that amusement. He felt people laughing. Of course, he could not actually see them do that. But then could feel eyes mocking him in his futile attempt. Trying to persuade him not to try any further. Every single person seemed to be impervious to him. They all seemed to be laughing at him now. He could not take it any more. He looked up the dome to find some solace and saw that it was now a perfect mirror and reflected everything that was happening below. Such was the beauty of this place that he could not escape it, this place would consume him and break him. Make him one of their own. He could no close his eyes, there were images in his head about them mocking him. He had nothing to do. He was dead and alive at the same time. The feeling was that he was dead. Yet, the pain showed him that he was alive.
In one final desperate attempt, hoping that this would be like the movies, where one only succeeds when he gives up all hope, he saw the most beautiful mannequin he could find and started walking towards it. In his feeble mind, he was desperately hoping that this would be the moment that he was waiting for. With this mannequin, he would be released from this hell-hole. He approached the mannequin and the its eyes moved, and her eye brows arched up. It was the feeling that one sees when someone is surprised but also pleasantly surprised. The elation in his mind was ecstatic. He was felt like his whole life was going to be re-lived and he had found purpose to everything. He thought this was the moment of Nirvana, that everyone speaks about. With trepidation and a excitement he could barely conceal, he went towards his mannequin.
When he reached close enough, his hopes crashed and he felt like he was being sucked into this void that he could never come out of. He felt like there would never be happiness again in his life. The mannequin was not responding to him, but to someone else behind him. Yet he could not give up, the chance of victory and what he would achieve with it was too astounding for him to give up. He went closer and closer. Finally, with all the courage and determination he could muster, he touched her body..
His hand slipped right through. There was no resistance. It was like a silky texture that he could not get his hands on. He tried again and again. Hoping that maybe if he tried hard enough, it would become real. He did not know which struck him first, his realization that he was alone or the fact that he should stop trying to make her real. He had no other option but to collapse, his dreams shattered. The worst part of that was that he was taken to the pinnacle of happiness. The feeling that you have found what you have been looking for and then was brought down crashing to the featureless ground. He now wished that he could just have stayed in that pinnacle. He wished that he had had the courage to not find out if she was real. But instead, to just feel happy that he had found her and that he did not wish to prove himself right or wrong. But now he could do nothing. The fear of loneliness and and sadness engulfed him at once. He wanted to kill himself but did not know how. He did not know if he was dead or alive but he wished to kill himself.
He did the only thing he could do. He screamed and he shouted. This time however, he could hear his voice. Harsh and clear, his voice echoed through the magnitude of the dome and reverberated. He screamed and screamed. He screamed till he could scream no more and yet wished that he could scream some more.
With him losing his voice box and not knowing what to do, he calmed down. It was then that this realization hit him. He realized the true purpose of this place. He realized that he must not try to be different but one of them. S now, regained his confidence. Like a man whose path looks clear despite the fog, he knew what he had to do. He closed his eyes and shut down all his senses. He closed himself and for once he felt oddly at peace - quite and calm. Those laughs had disappeared. It was like they knew that he has realized what he had realized. He spoke to the voice that had commanded. Not with pity or in a tone that asked a favor, but with a clear and calm voice ..
"I want to be one of them .. I want to be one of them .. "
And surely enough, his wish was being granted. He could see himself fade away from the presence of himself into entering the world of translucency. His body was changing and his shape was becoming more vague. It was like he was made of smoke or something of that kind - a kind of ether. He felt happy and satisfied. Knowing that although he wont find the one for him, he would not be alone. He would be with the rest of them, under the dome - living in their world, talking in their language.
He looked around him and that is when he was what he did not want to see. The prettiest girl he ever saw, the one with the most beautiful smile was approaching him. He knew at that instant that she was the one he was looking for. He knew it and did not have to reason with it for it is stupid to question something that the mind knows intrinsically. She ran towards him and he ran towards her. Hoping that it was not too late. He could feel his body become more and more weightless for he knew that he was becoming one of them. He ran towards he, feeling truly happy and satisfied - thinking of the ups and downs in his emotion and how it had all been worth it, given how he felt right now.
He reached near her and she reached out to him. She raised her hand so that she could feel the skin of his body, the smooth lines of his face and gentle eyes that now portrayed only love. She reached for him and her hand went right through him. She tried and tried again. Hoping that her repeated attempts would nullify the previous ones. S screamed and tried desperately to reach out her. He could not. He could now hear conversation and talking. He felt himself talking to the other mannequins in the same precise manner that they had spoken to one another. S had no option but to try desperately. He knew what the girl felt like but could not convey anything to her. He saw the sadness in her eyes and wanted to tell her that it would be ok. But he could for two reason - for one, he could not communicate and if for some strange reason, the law of the dome permitted him to talk to her only for a second, he knew that he would have to lie to her if he had to calm her down saying that everything would be ok.
S was now one of them. The girl made one last attempt to reach out to him but could not do so. Neither could S. He turned around and so did she. They both would not meet again. He had a feeling that they would not. S started talking to the people who were just like him. They recognized his presence and he made conversation with them. S felt satisfied that he could at least talk to them. Deep down however, he knew that he was really really sad and nothing he could do would change that.
He sighed and moved away. And continued to talk to them. But the sadness never went away. It felt like they were still mocking him. He felt that they would always continue to mock him. S had no comfort. The dome was now pure white once again. The intricacies had vanished. S knew the mocking would never stop. Neither would the sadness.
He sighed and he moved on. Talking to the next person in the strange language and expression that he had now acquired.
He sighed and moved on.
And he awoke.
He awoke to find a void. A large white landscape with no features at all. It was like he had reached the edge of horizon and now it seemed that it extended forever.
He walked a bit and nothing changed. All was white but not the kind that hurts your eyes. The white that soothes the soul. Yet he panicked for this void had no features. It was plain and peaceful. Pristine and quite and he could not stand it. He opened his mouth to scream. He could not hear his voice. The terror of this place seized him, this he realized, must be hell. There was no devil required. This place brought out the devil in you.
Suddenly, things began to materialize, shapes began to form and he was too astounded and dumbstruck to realize what was happening. The whole landscape was shifting and changing. It was as if the creator made him experience the most ghastly form of horror and then takes it away to bring out something even more surreal. He could not bear it any more. He closed his eyes, and shut his ears. Yet he wondered, there is no sound, why should I shut my ears. The light is not so bright, yet why do I feel like closing my eyes ?
After what seemed like eternity, for this place had no concept of time - No factor by which one could say if a minute had passed or an hour or an year, he opened his eyes and what he saw was a scene of utter amazement. The background was still the same. There was a eternal white luminescence that radiated amibently. But now when he looked up, he was a large dome, white in colour intricately carved. So intricate that one had to squint his eyes to see the microcosm of design. At a passing glance, the dome would look bare and plain white. Staring at it for a second mad him realized that it was made of infinitely grainy designs that were so intricate that it was nothing like he had ever seen. Another horror gripped him, one of beauty that one only gets to see and realize at the end of his life. Surely, this must be a thing carved for the Gods, no mortal could ever make this. More so, no mortal should ever lay his eyes on this.
Yet, the naive S, so engrossed by looking up that he forgot to look down at the plane - and when he did, he saw that he was not alone. Inside the dome were a billion people. All like him except that they did not seem to mind the dome. It was like they were used to the dome and have come to acknowledge its presence. The realization dawned upon him - every single person - born or dead was present inside this dome. The amazement was that even though it had so many people, the place looked quite empty. The white background percolated and he felt that the dome was quite spacious and roomy, even for the entire population that ever was.
He then heard voices in his head. He could not tell if this was him or someone else talking to him. However, the message were clear. He had to go and approach every single person there and talk to them. Only one of those billion people would acknowledge his presence. The one that did so however, was the one with whom he was to be with forever. He was thrilled and frightened. Not knowing what to expect. Yet, the prize was so important to him that he had to try. Whatever effort it took, would seem worth it.
He went from person to person. Not one could hear his voice. Not even one of them could see him. He tried shaking them, touching them but his hands went through their bodies, they became translucent when he passed his hand and yet when he did remove his hand, they seemed as real as his limbs looked to him. They were all mannequins talking to each other in their own language. Their own gestures. Their expressions were weird. They talked to one another but he could not hear them. They talked very less to each other. But they were very expressive. In this strange world to which he was a mere apparition, everyone understood each other perfectly, there was no need to talk one word extra. For everyone conveyed their thoughts with perfect precision. Their expressions were not misunderstood. They had a calm on their face. It was a calm that mocked him. For he was not one of them. They seemed to know that and yet did not make even the slightest of indication to him that they knew.
He moved along trying to talk from person to person. A billion people in all. The numbers did not matter, for he had forever. The mannequins would continue talking to each other. It was a flawless, perceptual system. The kind that God would create on his playground for his amusement. It seemed like he was the centre of that amusement. He felt people laughing. Of course, he could not actually see them do that. But then could feel eyes mocking him in his futile attempt. Trying to persuade him not to try any further. Every single person seemed to be impervious to him. They all seemed to be laughing at him now. He could not take it any more. He looked up the dome to find some solace and saw that it was now a perfect mirror and reflected everything that was happening below. Such was the beauty of this place that he could not escape it, this place would consume him and break him. Make him one of their own. He could no close his eyes, there were images in his head about them mocking him. He had nothing to do. He was dead and alive at the same time. The feeling was that he was dead. Yet, the pain showed him that he was alive.
In one final desperate attempt, hoping that this would be like the movies, where one only succeeds when he gives up all hope, he saw the most beautiful mannequin he could find and started walking towards it. In his feeble mind, he was desperately hoping that this would be the moment that he was waiting for. With this mannequin, he would be released from this hell-hole. He approached the mannequin and the its eyes moved, and her eye brows arched up. It was the feeling that one sees when someone is surprised but also pleasantly surprised. The elation in his mind was ecstatic. He was felt like his whole life was going to be re-lived and he had found purpose to everything. He thought this was the moment of Nirvana, that everyone speaks about. With trepidation and a excitement he could barely conceal, he went towards his mannequin.
When he reached close enough, his hopes crashed and he felt like he was being sucked into this void that he could never come out of. He felt like there would never be happiness again in his life. The mannequin was not responding to him, but to someone else behind him. Yet he could not give up, the chance of victory and what he would achieve with it was too astounding for him to give up. He went closer and closer. Finally, with all the courage and determination he could muster, he touched her body..
His hand slipped right through. There was no resistance. It was like a silky texture that he could not get his hands on. He tried again and again. Hoping that maybe if he tried hard enough, it would become real. He did not know which struck him first, his realization that he was alone or the fact that he should stop trying to make her real. He had no other option but to collapse, his dreams shattered. The worst part of that was that he was taken to the pinnacle of happiness. The feeling that you have found what you have been looking for and then was brought down crashing to the featureless ground. He now wished that he could just have stayed in that pinnacle. He wished that he had had the courage to not find out if she was real. But instead, to just feel happy that he had found her and that he did not wish to prove himself right or wrong. But now he could do nothing. The fear of loneliness and and sadness engulfed him at once. He wanted to kill himself but did not know how. He did not know if he was dead or alive but he wished to kill himself.
He did the only thing he could do. He screamed and he shouted. This time however, he could hear his voice. Harsh and clear, his voice echoed through the magnitude of the dome and reverberated. He screamed and screamed. He screamed till he could scream no more and yet wished that he could scream some more.
With him losing his voice box and not knowing what to do, he calmed down. It was then that this realization hit him. He realized the true purpose of this place. He realized that he must not try to be different but one of them. S now, regained his confidence. Like a man whose path looks clear despite the fog, he knew what he had to do. He closed his eyes and shut down all his senses. He closed himself and for once he felt oddly at peace - quite and calm. Those laughs had disappeared. It was like they knew that he has realized what he had realized. He spoke to the voice that had commanded. Not with pity or in a tone that asked a favor, but with a clear and calm voice ..
"I want to be one of them .. I want to be one of them .. "
And surely enough, his wish was being granted. He could see himself fade away from the presence of himself into entering the world of translucency. His body was changing and his shape was becoming more vague. It was like he was made of smoke or something of that kind - a kind of ether. He felt happy and satisfied. Knowing that although he wont find the one for him, he would not be alone. He would be with the rest of them, under the dome - living in their world, talking in their language.
He looked around him and that is when he was what he did not want to see. The prettiest girl he ever saw, the one with the most beautiful smile was approaching him. He knew at that instant that she was the one he was looking for. He knew it and did not have to reason with it for it is stupid to question something that the mind knows intrinsically. She ran towards him and he ran towards her. Hoping that it was not too late. He could feel his body become more and more weightless for he knew that he was becoming one of them. He ran towards he, feeling truly happy and satisfied - thinking of the ups and downs in his emotion and how it had all been worth it, given how he felt right now.
He reached near her and she reached out to him. She raised her hand so that she could feel the skin of his body, the smooth lines of his face and gentle eyes that now portrayed only love. She reached for him and her hand went right through him. She tried and tried again. Hoping that her repeated attempts would nullify the previous ones. S screamed and tried desperately to reach out her. He could not. He could now hear conversation and talking. He felt himself talking to the other mannequins in the same precise manner that they had spoken to one another. S had no option but to try desperately. He knew what the girl felt like but could not convey anything to her. He saw the sadness in her eyes and wanted to tell her that it would be ok. But he could for two reason - for one, he could not communicate and if for some strange reason, the law of the dome permitted him to talk to her only for a second, he knew that he would have to lie to her if he had to calm her down saying that everything would be ok.
S was now one of them. The girl made one last attempt to reach out to him but could not do so. Neither could S. He turned around and so did she. They both would not meet again. He had a feeling that they would not. S started talking to the people who were just like him. They recognized his presence and he made conversation with them. S felt satisfied that he could at least talk to them. Deep down however, he knew that he was really really sad and nothing he could do would change that.
He sighed and moved away. And continued to talk to them. But the sadness never went away. It felt like they were still mocking him. He felt that they would always continue to mock him. S had no comfort. The dome was now pure white once again. The intricacies had vanished. S knew the mocking would never stop. Neither would the sadness.
He sighed and he moved on. Talking to the next person in the strange language and expression that he had now acquired.
He sighed and moved on.
